Not as it appears
by Rasping-nightshade
Summary: not your usual fanfic..please read/review..first time posting and would love to know what you think


Not as it appears  
  
Sitting quietly on the sand with the cold, dark ocean lapping at my feet I feel at peace. More relaxed then I have been in the last decade, I think. The silence of civilization is magnificent. No hum of electricity or sound of the squeal of tires as someone turns a corner to fast just the quiet contemplation of the ocean and my thoughts. A piece of stray brown hair falls in front of my eyes and with a brush of my hand I push It back where it belongs. I must remember to get a hair cut one of these days and I'm glad that's the most important decision I will have to make for a while.   
The beach is empty for all except me, even the moon has taken a vacation for the night hidden behind the thick black clouds which looks about to spill their life any minute.  
  
On sudden impulse I stand and strip down to my boxers and making the few steps to the water I dive straight in. The cold water runs over my body and I'm tumbled in the salty water. I stay under for as long as I can before I'm forced back up to the surface. For a while I swim, moving with the current of the water. Reveling in the feel of it's silky touch on my body and delighting in the fresh taste of the water.   
  
By the time I have made my way out of the tumbling sea the sky had opened it's gates and poured it's contents onto the already moist earth, the wind whipped up from seemly nowhere and for the first time I shiver. I don't leave though, instead I take a seat on the wet sand and fall back to lie on the soft ground. I sigh with lost pleasure and close my eyes.  
  
I'm almost asleep when I'm aware of someone coming up behind me. I don't open my eyes. I'm completely safe because I know for certain who that person is.   
  
"Hey will" My voice is full of affection. Even though my vision is dark I still see the small tired smile she gives me.   
  
"Xan the guards say it's time to go" the words are forced and I wish I could take some of that pain away from her, cut it out of her like some malignant cancer but I cant. I wouldn't even know where to start. I open my eyes and drink in her small elf like face, her bright green eyes; eyes that sparkle in the daylight and her shock of crimson hair hidden by the dark - it remind me of blood.   
  
I nod and slowly pull my wet clothes over my equally wet body.   
  
"Are you cold?" She asks   
  
I shake my head, "doesn't matter" I say and she silently agrees. We make the long walk back to the car in silence. There is nothing that needs to be said that already hasn't been touched a hundred times. When we reach the car we are both soaked through and I look fondly down at her and stroke her face with my finger tips. Even after all this time she flinches slightly and I give a resigned sigh and drop my hand. She looks torn between apologizing and bursting into tears. I tell her it's OK, I don't mind. She stands frozen as I place a small kiss on her forehead and whisper a good-bye in her ear.   
  
The car door is opened with a click and I'm motioned to enter by the silent guard. I take one last lingering look at my almost sister's face before I duck to take a seat in the black vehicle. I always laugh at their choice of colour - I pictured it as a white car. Maybe just a little cliché though.  
  
The door is almost slammed and the engine Is started suddenly. As we drive off I catch a look of Willow's red hair in the headlights and It's vibrate colour reminds me of why I'm here. The blood as I had cut into the flesh of my beautiful Anya. Red, hot life blood splattering on my face so I could taste the heavy tang of metal. The plea of her cries are like church bells in my ears and I can't help but smile at the memory. She had been dirty and she had needed to be cleansed. Letting that filthy demon touch her in the most intimate of ways. Never again and I had made It so. By cutting her open and pulling out her insides. My queen had told me to do that. My goddess said it would make it all better and it had.   
  
A giggle escapes my lips and I miss the look that passes between my guardians. I'm to caught up in my own fantasies to notice when the car stops suddenly and we are all thrown about. When the screaming starts I think it's just my mind and then there is silence. My door is pulled off it's frame and dropped on to the sealed road with a clang.   
  
I turn to face the opening with glazed eyes.   
  
"My little lost kitten" said so soft. Cold hands stroke my face in the same way as I had done to Willow but instead of flinching I lean in to the touch and almost purr in contentment.   
  
"Mummy has come to take you home now kitten" Her voice is cold and clear, sending chills of pleasure down my spine. I'm cradled in her strong arms like a fragile doll and I surrender completely when her fangs pierce my throat, drawing away my life in delicate swallows. I whimper when she pulls away but that feeling of loss is soon replaced with ecstasy as her blood spills onto my tongue feeding my, making me whole.   
  
My body goes cold and I shudder as my heart finally stops and I fall into a temporary sleep. But before I finally die I see a flash of crimson red hair and I must remember when I wake up to ask my dark goddess if I can have a sister. 


End file.
